i barfeds in our rink
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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