i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
