just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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