I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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