'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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