Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
