Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
