If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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