At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Nicole vs. Life
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We left an ass print on the piano.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize