i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize