I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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