so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
being pregnant is like rehab
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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