just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
