The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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