Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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