No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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