My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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