Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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