Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize