he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
