these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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