Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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