It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
