wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
