Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
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I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize