he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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