it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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