babies were throwing up all over the place
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
