Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
