She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
