we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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