this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
