I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
