im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize