you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
and she was petting her beer can
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm both gender and math confused
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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