I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
