the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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