is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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