by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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