Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
