When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
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I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
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Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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