i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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