I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
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I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
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I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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