the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
