They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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