I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
