Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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