can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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