we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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