another moral hangover. fuck.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
