Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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