on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
