Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
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Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
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I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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