I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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