DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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