I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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