Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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