oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
