I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
