HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize