dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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