i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
