His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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