you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
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When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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