You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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