i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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